Is it just me…?

A constant game of cat and mouse.
A generation of message “Read“.. Picture “Liked“.. DM’s and inboxes.

You hook up with someone after meeting them and then wonder if from there on out it’s all you can expect from each other. No option of growth or interaction.

Minutes counted between responses. You’re going to fast. You were gone too long.
I can’t call you but I’ll message you. We can’t go to dinner and a movie but if you’re still up later we can “Netflix & Chill”.

We’re stuck in this superficial cyber space mess of “instagram models” and building up your standards because you spent way too much time looking at sculpted men and big booty women or “perfect couples” with “beyond perfect kids” online on Instagram’s popular page.
No one is good enough. One “like” is not enough to get the point across but too many “likes” makes you “thirsty“.

An era where everything is “lit” but there’s no room for passion.

Everyone’s busy making money and doing them but no one wants to share space, time and ideas. A constant grind, chase… endless comparison.

I remember in high school when you passed a note, kissed in the hall and that was it – you were a couple. (Maybe a little sketchy or unrealistic but the point is it flowed better)
Late nights on the phone, talking – getting to know one another. Having to be polite and speak to each other’s parents because you were calling the house phone.

Going on day-time dates because it was the only time you had a ride. Having to talk on the phone to make plans because you only had 200 text messages for the month.
Splitting family holidays because it was the right thing to do. Small gifts that meant something because you barely worked or your mom was giving you money to get the gift so you had to get it right.
Sex on occasion because your parents were usually home.

That’s how real relationships were built that’s when they would last the longest.

No social media to check whose picture he liked or what club picture she was tagged in.
No waiting for the message to be “Read” – no swipe then pass code. The phone flipped open and that was it.

People are caught up and lost in the hype of celebrities and keeping up with one another.

Love was love and real and raw. Now it’s a million bits and pieces, so many questions and concerns and components. By the time you’ve established that you’re dating the spark is gone, the chemistry is lost and you’re just going through the motions until you find the next best thing.

He DM’s you – you have to scroll through his timeline, find his best friends… find out who his ex was.
If she approaches you, she’s intimidating or too bold or better yet she’s way to confident in her approach so she must do this a lot and be used to dudes not rejecting her.

You meet and it’s straight to the house. Let’s “watch movies” but we never end up remembering what was on.
I got your number well I’m not going to call you, feel out your vibe, ask you out – I’m going to text you, but not too soon. It’d be better if I waited a few days and made you wait and wonder. I’ll ask you to text me and tell me “something about yourself”. Text you good mornings because you’re supposed to think that’s cute if I do it often enough…
But if you don’t text me back within the hour I’m done. I’m not texting you first anymore because clearly the feelings aren’t mutual and I’m not making myself come across as desperate. I don’t need you. This is why I don’t date in the first place.
On to the next…

What the hell happened to, well I don’t have a cell phone and you must be at work or in class but soon as 5 o’clock comes around I’m stopping by to see how your day was.

Why the hell can’t someone be busy… why can’t we find satisfaction in enjoying one person. Someone we vibe well with instead of chasing the baddest or the richest to top whoever the next person has?!

Why can’t I call you and hear your voice with out being questioned as to what is wrong or why I’m calling?
There’s no leisure in getting to know someone or dating them. It’s a list of expectations with minimal reciprocation. Scripted. Generic. Minimal effort.

Welcome to the era of “f**k boys and bad b**ches”!
Amongst a society literally falling apart due to economy, politics, inequality – we can’t seem to get the basics right even in our personal lives.
The higher you place someone on a pedestal the greater the risk, the worse the fall.

It’s like dating means engagement and engagement means automatic next week marriage and kids and a house. If we’re dating we have to live together and now that we live together we can’t enjoy each other or the friendship we’ve created.

Engagement seems to be this thing that’s done because she asked too many times or at some certain age it’s just “supposed to happen“.

Maybe it’s just me, but I want to get to know someone. I want to converse and interact. I want to be intimate psychologically as well as physically.
Call me when you miss me. Text me if you think of me. Talk to me when you’re mad.
If we enjoy each other lets date. Let’s have some fun. Lets go out and travel. Lets go to parties and dinners. I want you to eat Christmas dinner at my family’s table as much as I want to sit and enjoy yours.

If and when the time is right lets talk about marriage and kids. Lets even get engaged but, lets take our time. Everything has a time line and its limits but lets enjoy this and not base our rules off what’s presented to us by others.

It’s like things happen in movies or books… I don’t know someone somewhere states an opinion. Another person writes a status or a tweet and suddenly there are new standards, rules, things to live by when it comes to dating. People seem to have forgotten how simple and fun it’s meant to be. What it used to be like.

Finding someone has become a mission/job.. Getting to know them/date them has become exhausting!
Someone out there has to get what I’m saying. So, you and I… lets do it different.


Easy like Sunday morning…

Sundays are pretty much my favorite.
I guess that’s sort of weird, well because it’s the day before Monday. The last day of the weekend and such, but Sundays are happy and mellow and I don’t know they just seem so simple and easy.
A good church sermon, breakfast and a great movie in bed, wearing jammies all day… it’s like an all purpose, anything goes kind of day. Things just flow.

And when I think of it I’d love to find a love as “easy as Sunday morning“.

Ya know like an ideal kinda love, where you’re dating your best friend and there’s little to no pressure.
I want to feel butterflies when we kiss but feel calm enough to tell you my biggest dreams and my deepest fears.

Someone that takes away from all the stupid pressures of social media and “relationship goals“. A person to just be my person and get me… finish my sentences, know the catch to my jokes without me having to even finish.
Someone to support my dream like they support their own and know how to get my guards down on my worst days.

I want to laugh in my underwear with your t-shirt on until my tummy hurts on the days I woke up with the world crumbling down around me because you know what I need to hear when I don’t want to listen to anyone else.

Someone that loves food, music, movies, traveling and such but can tolerate cuddling and walks through museums because they know it’s something I like to do.
Someone that loves old school hip hop but can sit through a car ride listening to country music for my sake.
Someone I can watch sports with and sit by while they play video games because they walked around the mall with me all afternoon.
Someone I can hold and massage and cook for because they showed up at all my events and sat by me on long/emotional training nights.

Let’s be comfortable together. To the point where we can share a mirror in the morning and the sheets at night. Where we can share space and move around instinctively without bumping into each other.
So comfortable you’ll sing in the shower around me and I’ll still dance around the room as I get ready while you watch. Let me kick my feet up on your lap while you’re sitting and you rest your head on my back as I lay.

Someone that will cuddle with me when it’s cold or I’m stressed. A person I can hold before bed but I can still move away from while we sleep because it’s too hot.
We could watch movies all day and night when there’s nothing to do and waste time together.

I need someone I can walk around aimlessly with because the weather’s nice.
Someone that will hike up a mountain with me on a bad day to clear my mind or walk through sand with me on a summer night.
A person that will walk around a park with me for hours just to stay in my company and get lost in conversation.

I want you beside me when my family is falling apart or at family dinners. I want you to become a part of my family, a part of the memories. Be part of the pictures and the chaos closest to my heart.

Let’s travel the world. Walk through a desert, swim through a sea.. Lets walk the cobble stone roads of Spain.
Road trips across the states. Long days at the beach and even longer nights under the stars. Take me places you’ve been and then lets find new places we have yet to come across.

Lend me an ear when I endlessly rant. Offer me kind words when my heart is shattered. Bring me to life with your smile.
Be my boyfriend. My best friend.
Keep your guard down with me. Let’s talk about everything, anything, nothing and whatever is left in between.
Give me a natural high. Be the reason I wake up excited and I’ll dress your face with a smile before you lay your head to rest each night.

No fear in settling because I’d never second guess my feelings or what we have. I’d have faith in our future and what’s to come – good or bad I would know nothing could break us down.
A natural friendship, I perfect bond, inseparable and mine.
Outward displays of affection. No outlandish PDA, but enough to show you off to the world. Proud to have you and happy to have you to love me.

The first person I want to run to through tears. The fist I think to share exciting news with. The first person I want to hold and the one I want to celebrate life’s blessings with.

I can’t help but believe that love still exists that someone out there can surprise me and love me and sweep me off of my feet effortlessly in the most simple ways.
I hold on to that feeling, that slight chance.