The concept of a diary always seemed to appeal to me. Breaking mid day with a coffee or winding down after a long day with a glass of wine, journal in hand. Taking bits and pieces of the chaos in my brain and throwing them out and onto paper – making space for more countless thoughts. Being able to exhale every strong emotion happy or sad without actually having to tell it to a person who may or may not be around in a few weeks. Pretty lame to have to consider but needless to say I’m sure we’ve all encountered a part time friend or two.
The problem with a diary is having to set aside time to get comfy and put all that’s going on up in the control center onto a sheet of paper; which is more often times than not, in a really nice notebook that it takes approximately 25 minutes to pick out because the thoughts in my brain are worthy of much more than the plain lined paper in a $1.99 spiral bound notebook. (Common human knowledge, ego driven of course!)
Setting aside half an hour to write is unimaginable. It’s hard enough to get from point A to B with out losing my mind. Remember my phone, keys, wallet – can’t forget to pay my bills, get in an hour at the gym and well I already wasted that spare 25 minutes purchasing my awesome new journal… so when am I supposed to find time to write down experiences or feelings that may or may not, make me feel even worse about myself!
So after endless attempts (about 20 journals with anywhere from 10 to 30 pages filled; because I obviously need to get a new journal to start fresh every time I take a “break” from writing) I gave in and decided maybe “journaling” (not an actual word..
so what) isn’t for everyone. It’s worked out for me about as well as opening up to absolute strangers does.
Yet still I find myself with oncoming traffic of thoughts ready to collide at any given point. From miscellaneous things my brain has managed to suck up (more than likely at times when it should have been memorizing information for an exam or helping me figure out a math equation) to opinions and experiences on the ins and outs of day-to-day situations. Sometimes I just wish there was an eject button that would allow me to blurt out my thoughts and slow down!
Give me a moment of absolute peace and quite without having to glue my butt to my meditation mat.
Fortunately for me, there is technology and a world population of about 7 billion people; most of which are probably searching for their niche too.
So all journals aside and without actually having to deal with vain one sided conversations, bad breath, or in the flesh rejection – I’ll sip my beverage of choice and confide my thoughts. Out of the billions I’m sure I can manage to spark the attention of at least 3 and well that’s good enough… So here’s to my new version of “Dear Diary..” from my current location to yours..