Start with love.

If you’re anything like me – family dinners, weddings and such events can get a little uncomfortable. Everyone’s getting married, having kids and well at least dating; somehow the question always pops up and everyone looks at you…
So, any lucky someone?
When’s your turn?
Are you dating?

Followed by a quick smirk and “Oh, no not really. Life’s just kind of been busy..

Truth is we live among people who are so afraid of love, feelings and emotions. Everyone’s working so hard at being independent that they forget to learn how to grow with someone else, to build toward common goals. We forget we can be together and still have individual responsibilities.

Most women know (but probably won’t admit) that they are probably (more than likely) not easy to be with, but be the man who will stay no matter how hard it gets.
Other men will approach us (after all we live in a society where everyone looks out for themselves) but with all the options we may have, know we’d pick you, above any and all.
You have to know all her insecurities and imperfections and love her for all that she may be to the point that she can laugh at anything that may be wrong with her and embrace it completely.
It’s going to take an honest effort because it takes time to learn how to please someone other than ourselves. We all have to realize anyone we meet will have flaws, good/bad attitudes and their own way of doing things.
You aren’t going to like everything about her, it’s not possible – that thought is out the window. Fairy tales are in books and movies, so that’s exactly where we’ll leave them.
As long as she works with you, always give her something to work towards. As long as she loves you, continue to fight for her. That’s what you both need.
Know her favorite color, her drink (or chipotle) order and how she likes her coffee. Do things to make her smile, better yet always make her laugh. When she’s tired lay her head on your chest – when she’s sad, kiss her. Be proud to show that woman off for anyone to see. Allow yourself to love her because I guarantee if she’s a real woman, she’ll make you question why you were afraid to fall in love in the first place. No matter your flaws, she’s going to love you with all she has and she’d never think to hurt you knowingly.
She may not wear her scars on the outside but it doesn’t mean she has none. You’ll know only what she wants you to know until you give her reason to open up. Embrace her fears and strengthen them; she’ll do for you what is done for her. When she’s not okay but pretends to be, make her talk about it because in a world where everyone’s comfortable behind a mask she’s looking for someone she can’t fool.
As a man you have pride and you’re a doer, being a woman she’s a dreamer and a thinker – if you don’t see the opportunity in that, you’re not thinking big enough. Build with that woman because she will grant you so much possibility.

Allow her to understand who you are and why. Don’t automatically make her out to be “one of these girls” you’ve dealt with in the past. She could very well be an opportunity for joy and positive vibes, don’t make it out to be a risk you’re taking – she is enthusiastic about you, don’t make her out to be a fear.
While others see your flaws and mistakes, she’ll love you for your courage and growth. Find time for that woman, like you find time for your work and your goals because push come to shove she’ll be there for you when some doors close and remind you how many will still open – she’ll pray for you and find strength for you both when you don’t have the time or the energy.
This woman caught your attention – out of all the other women you’ve been surrounded by, she stuck out. Allow her to know that!
Don’t get caught up in the hype of this generation where it’s too hard to balance not coming off too strong but not seeming like you don’t care at all. Don’t allow courting to be via iPhone, through a text! If you vibe well you’ll be happiest at home cuddled up and just enjoying her company (Netflix and take out included). When you vibe well with someone the amount of time you’re together won’t make your relationship – it’s always going to come down to the amount of energy you invest in understanding each other and protecting the investment you have together.
Don’t allow her emotions to be the single reason she pushes you away, she can’t help how much she wants you. Don’t make her pretend her feelings aren’t deep for the sake of not scaring you away. All fear and doubt aside, be willing and ready to take in all she feels for you, because you may end up with someone who will never express their self and leave you questioning your relationship daily.
When something’s on your mind speak up don’t shut up. If you’re afraid of something, tell her – don’t be afraid of coming off to strong and making her uncomfortable. I can guarantee she’d prefer feeling uncomfortable for a brief moment than you shutting her out completely. There’s nothing she can gain or understand from a distance.

1 Corinthians 13:7 RSV

She can deal with the walls you’ve built and her patience will allow her to take them down one brick at a time because you are worthwhile but allow her efforts to motivate you to work on healing yourself and being a better man.
Reciprocation is a turn on.
Communication is at an all time low, don’t make and break your relationship through a text. Grab her hand (or her butt) and sit her down. Talk to her, be mature and stop hiding behind a cell phone. She knows you can be whatever you want on social media but show her the man you can be eye to eye.
You weren’t quick to approach her or get in a relationship with her. Don’t be quick to show her how fast you can leave; it’s okay to fight for someone who would fight for you.

Most of society is blind to the way things used to be or how they should be. So much could be said and argued – all though this is written woman to man, ladies we can use the lesson too!
Don’t luck out on something good out of fear to conform to the lame current social norms. Be okay with embracing an individual who is committed to you because in today’s world there are plenty that will walk out on you with out needing a reason to…

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