Come into my room and undress me.
Feel the body of a woman.
Undress the mind she possesses.
Unlock the door of
insecurity. Lay me in these sheets and follow my lead, head to toe.
Run your fingers through my hair, do you feel the imperfection – can you see the colors that have faded or the roots that have grown in? Can you feel the tangles, the dry ends, the damage its gone through to go back and forth from curly to straight, up then down, wet then dry?
Or is it just hair, does it feel full, rich and real? Would you know where my natural tones begin and where the shades are painted on..?
Work your way past my hair and into my mind.
A woman’s mind.
A disaster zone.
A world of emotion.
The constant place of battle – trying to figure out whether I’m being “too much“… or not enough. Where dreams of the future constantly flood in but are damned in because I fear they don’t bring you the same comfort they bring me.
Constant worrying of if you’re too busy or entertaining someone else. Wanting to follow my heart but hearing the sirens of my mind try to dim the passion I feel with you, the feelings I want to allow flow but can’t seem to with out caution.
Past my mind, as you look into my eyes and caress my face do you see the blemishes, the bumps and imperfections. Does the of length of my lashes amaze you? Can you tell me the color of my eyes?
Were they the same color an hour before? Does the fullness of my lips turn you on? Does the imperfection of my teeth turn you off?
Can you see the make up I use to cover my insecurities?
Past my face as you grab my neck can you feel the scrapes? Do you see the bruises the barbell left behind, can you feel the smooth skin that runs down my shoulders and back where ink spills and tells stories of a painful past and a beautiful future?
Have you connected each and every one of my freckles like a game of connect the dots? Have you found the tiny imperfections that surround my pores where my skin is still scarred or is my skin “too” pale?
Run your fingers down my back and feel how firm and strong it is, allow it to distract you from the softness of my tummy. Just hold me from behind, don’t allow yourself to see the parts of me that are not just right, just yet.
No six pack or firm core, no tight skin. A slight bump, slightly loose skin. There’s enough to grab but just little enough where it can be over looked or ignored. Just the right amount to make me shy as you undress me but enough for me to feel sexy if I turn to the right angle.
Allow your kisses to flow down, down a little further into places where I lose control.
Do your finger tips feel the bumps left behind by a razor? Have your lips grazed the tiny hairs poking there way back to places I wish they’d just leave?
Do you notice the effort I put forth to perfect my body for these moments I share with you in these sheets?
Can you see past the bruises on my legs and waist or the dimples and grooves of a slightly imperfect silhouette? As you turn me around does the view from behind distract you from the things I fear you will find?
Can you tell my bra matched my underwear to perfection or that my feet were recently scrubbed, toes painted.
Have you noticed the small chip on my nails… as I rub your back can you feel the roughness on the palm of my hands or the cracks in my skin…?
Are my nails too long or not long enough?
When your body collapses onto mine do you take in my scent, do you want to rest against me or are you rushing away?
Tell me if my body is beautiful and you desire nothing else.. Can you handle all that fills your hands – are you impressed, have you been pleased?
Were my lips soft, my breath warm – did you feel me longing for your love when my nails were against your skin. Did you hear what I whispered? Could you see into my eyes?
As I sat on top of you was the view something bringing you pleasure, could you think of anything or anyone else…?
Understand that when I brought you in here, as I lay you down and pulled off your clothes.. piece by piece, layer by layer I was taking off the weight of the world.
I brought you to hide you away. I wanted to flood your mind with desire and your heart with love. I wanted to pleasure your soul and relax your body.
I want nothing more than for my imperfections to be noticed and embraced.
I want your hands against my skin. Your lips on my lips.
Your desires to be shown.
Your thoughts to be of us and of me.
I want to know this is more than the things I fear most. Of becoming another name on a list, of just a piece of time passed or desperate satisfaction fulfilled.
Follow me through these doors only if you can handle every part of my heart, inch of my skin and corner kept secret in my mind.
Touch me only if you desire me.
Undress me only to learn me and love me more than you did before…